Friend Break Up

So Martina and I were planning on living together next year and I told a friend, and she said "Oh I want to live with you guys too!!"
Which is weird because you don't just invite yourself into someone's housing plans?? And even though we've been friends for six years I barely know her (though she often told me that we were great friends???). And through all six of those years she had refused to meet me outside of school, how do we live together if she refuses to let me see her outside any other environment? If she has a problem going out that's fine, I'm just confused. The one time I brought up her reluctance to meet, she got incredibly mad. I just don't understand.
So we're trying to plan this apartment over break, and I've been telling her for weeks "all three of us need to meet and figure out this apartment stuff". We were already behind. And she ignored me and ignored me, and then as break went longer I said "can you meet" and she said she was busy. Every week. Which is not even refusing, it's making excuses. And then I asked if she could at least video chat while Martina and I meet so we could all talk, and she stopped answering my texts.

That makes me angry. You can't invite yourself to live with people and then refuse to contribute to the conversation. SO by the end of break I looked at that, and our relationship in the last, and decided we don't communicate well enough to live together. If I'm frustrated just planning the apartment, no way could I live with her and not get angry.

And I didn't want to hurt our friendship. She finally contacted me yesterday, and asked if the apartment was done. I said no, because we hadn't met up. And then she asks if I'm angry at her for not showing up and I decide to be honest with her. And I told her our friendship would be better if we didn't live together.

But she got mad at me, which I'm guessing would have happened no matter when I refused to let her live with us. And I was angry too but I only spoke of how I wanted to maintain our friendship, and how I wasn't angry with her even if I didn't appreciate her actions. And she says I'm judging her, and how she's never judged me through all of our friendship, and how I'm the bad guy. And she says our friendship is over.

I know it isn't nearly that black and white. I know many people consider me a good friend. I know that we have never communicated well, she's never fully trusted me, and that I should maybe be a bit thankful we'll start to fade from each other's lives. But I'm still upset she got mad. I don't like losing friends. And I don't like feeling like it's my fault.

She wasn't even a good friend, but now I can't help thinking that maybe I wasn't one either.

I'll try to not be too upset. Thinking back, when Rachel said that she was upset we weren't together anymore, even when she was semi-guilting me, she never insinuated that it was my fault. I didn't feel bad about that. We have a nice, functioning friendship. But that isn't the way it worked with this one. It probably wasn't a good friendship to begin with.

I still can't even decide whether we were ever more than acquaintances.

I dunno. I'll get past my bum and glum.

Life is good.