Since I used this blog yesterday, I might as well use it today. What small phrases and vents will come from my head today?
This will be more drunken murmurs, meaning small reoccuring wisps of words that enter my head.
----
i.
How do I save you?
ii.
I hate having to wear my gloves to sleep.
iii.
Can I make something to truly make you happy? Do I bother you? Do I say 'I love you' too much, to the point that you don't take comfort from it anymore?
When I talk to you, who's heart am I trying to calm, your's or mine?
Do you become happier with my company?
I wish I knew. Not that I wouldn't continue doubting it if I did.
iv.
I try biting my nails, but they only get sharper, not shorter. They still manage to break through my gloves and continue to hurt me.
I see my gloves breaking, wearing down, wearing new holes and brokennesses that they hadn't had before. I fell like, when these gloves finally turn to tatters, I will fall apart with them.
v.
I wonder if I'll ever ever ever ever tell them.
Or more of, I wonder if when I tell them, would they ever ever ever ever ever love me.
I wonder if I would ever ever ever let that happen.
Damn it.
iv.
I feel like if I met them in real life, I'd most likely want to hug them. But if I did, I would become terrified, because they are so small and fragile, and I think I'd feel a pang of sadness in that.
And I imagine lying down together and just resting, happily, in relaxation, and I imagine putting an arm around them, but then feeling that small torso....
Last time I couldn't get my arm confortably around the girl, and now I'm scared to even imagine it. I want someone I can fit comfortably with.
I want someone I can hold with absolutely no difficulty.
(But then again, maybe difficulty is the key here?)
(I'll continue adding throughout the day if I have more troubles to write. let's see how many troubles one Me can accumulate in a day.)
Life is good.
This will be more drunken murmurs, meaning small reoccuring wisps of words that enter my head.
----
i.
How do I save you?
ii.
I hate having to wear my gloves to sleep.
iii.
Can I make something to truly make you happy? Do I bother you? Do I say 'I love you' too much, to the point that you don't take comfort from it anymore?
When I talk to you, who's heart am I trying to calm, your's or mine?
Do you become happier with my company?
I wish I knew. Not that I wouldn't continue doubting it if I did.
iv.
I try biting my nails, but they only get sharper, not shorter. They still manage to break through my gloves and continue to hurt me.
I see my gloves breaking, wearing down, wearing new holes and brokennesses that they hadn't had before. I fell like, when these gloves finally turn to tatters, I will fall apart with them.
v.
I wonder if I'll ever ever ever ever tell them.
Or more of, I wonder if when I tell them, would they ever ever ever ever ever love me.
I wonder if I would ever ever ever let that happen.
Damn it.
iv.
I feel like if I met them in real life, I'd most likely want to hug them. But if I did, I would become terrified, because they are so small and fragile, and I think I'd feel a pang of sadness in that.
And I imagine lying down together and just resting, happily, in relaxation, and I imagine putting an arm around them, but then feeling that small torso....
Last time I couldn't get my arm confortably around the girl, and now I'm scared to even imagine it. I want someone I can fit comfortably with.
I want someone I can hold with absolutely no difficulty.
(But then again, maybe difficulty is the key here?)
(I'll continue adding throughout the day if I have more troubles to write. let's see how many troubles one Me can accumulate in a day.)
Life is good.
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