I like to think every single person is placed in their daily lives for a very particular reason. There is purpose behind the placement of every single individual on every sidewalk, every second. God places them there because they have lived certain experiences or have certain qualifications that render them perfect for certain necessary interactions. God wants some people to meet.
...On the way to Drawing class, I was crossing the long, four lane street to get to Regis Hall when a car jumped in front of me. And at the exact moment I laid eyes on that car, my mind screamed "HIT ME". And this message flashed across my mind and I froze up--my body tensed, my eyes widened, I was feeling the panic attack coming hard, strong. I forced myself to the other side of the street and my breathing was already erratic, I wanted to die, I hadn't been this bad in weeks, I couldn't go to class like this, no no no no no
and within seconds of me getting to the other side of that road, a woman walked up to me. She had to try a few times to get my attention, I was shaking so bad inside, but I finally heard her and looked up from my feet. She was small, with curly hair wild around her face, and her eyes looked at me with the smallest bit of urgency from behind her spectacles.
"Excuse me, could you help me?"
And her voice calmed me down a bit, and I answered very politely, Yes, yes I could, what do you need? and she pointed to a magazine lying open across the sidewalk and asked if I could pick it up for her. She had a terribly bad back, she told me, and couldn't bend down to get it.
And I said "Yes, of course," and as I went to get it, I felt positivity slowly cleansing my thoughts. By the time I walked back to her, within those few seconds, my breathing was back to normal, and tears no longer threatened the backs of my eyes. I was calming down. I gave her the magazine, and she looked me straight in the eyes and said "Thank You", and she smiled into my face in this completely sincere way.
And I was fine. I smiled to the tips of my ears and told her she was welcome, and I told her to have a wonderful day, and she gave me one final smile before we parted, and my heart soared and sang because it was free of the terror that had so recently gripped it, and I was alive, and I was breathing, and I was no longer breaking. And I thought, "that was very convenient." And I thought, "I must have met an angel."
Because what were the chances of someone needing to talk to me right as I started having a panic attack? What were the chances of someone being there who had every reason to speak to me, who had that kind of smile that would free me? God put her there. God went to the woman with the bad back and the bright smile and placed her gently across my path, God took the magazine out of her hands and placed me there instead. God let me get there just as she did, God let us meet, God wanted to tell me that He was looking out for me.
Maybe God even caused the car to jump out, and caused my mind to scream out pleas of death that I had held back for weeks, finally convinced that I had my life under control. Maybe God set all this up to remind me. Maybe he wanted me to recall my faith in angels, in faith, in a God that could support me and make me believe.
Or maybe it was coincidental. Maybe it was sheer luck. Maybe I am misconstruing a series of very regular, exceedingly mundane events. But maybe I'm not. I don't think there is such thing as a mundane event left in this world. We are all placed very strategically in our lives in case we may be of use to others. We are pushed through experiences that will equip us with conditions advantageous for certain situations. And we will be used to help people, and we will be helped. Every single person on the street is there for some other person, in some way, shape or fashion. Even little things--it matters.
Regardless of the background circumstances, i can safely say that woman helped me much more than I ever helped her.
Life is good.
...On the way to Drawing class, I was crossing the long, four lane street to get to Regis Hall when a car jumped in front of me. And at the exact moment I laid eyes on that car, my mind screamed "HIT ME". And this message flashed across my mind and I froze up--my body tensed, my eyes widened, I was feeling the panic attack coming hard, strong. I forced myself to the other side of the street and my breathing was already erratic, I wanted to die, I hadn't been this bad in weeks, I couldn't go to class like this, no no no no no
and within seconds of me getting to the other side of that road, a woman walked up to me. She had to try a few times to get my attention, I was shaking so bad inside, but I finally heard her and looked up from my feet. She was small, with curly hair wild around her face, and her eyes looked at me with the smallest bit of urgency from behind her spectacles.
"Excuse me, could you help me?"
And her voice calmed me down a bit, and I answered very politely, Yes, yes I could, what do you need? and she pointed to a magazine lying open across the sidewalk and asked if I could pick it up for her. She had a terribly bad back, she told me, and couldn't bend down to get it.
And I said "Yes, of course," and as I went to get it, I felt positivity slowly cleansing my thoughts. By the time I walked back to her, within those few seconds, my breathing was back to normal, and tears no longer threatened the backs of my eyes. I was calming down. I gave her the magazine, and she looked me straight in the eyes and said "Thank You", and she smiled into my face in this completely sincere way.
And I was fine. I smiled to the tips of my ears and told her she was welcome, and I told her to have a wonderful day, and she gave me one final smile before we parted, and my heart soared and sang because it was free of the terror that had so recently gripped it, and I was alive, and I was breathing, and I was no longer breaking. And I thought, "that was very convenient." And I thought, "I must have met an angel."
Because what were the chances of someone needing to talk to me right as I started having a panic attack? What were the chances of someone being there who had every reason to speak to me, who had that kind of smile that would free me? God put her there. God went to the woman with the bad back and the bright smile and placed her gently across my path, God took the magazine out of her hands and placed me there instead. God let me get there just as she did, God let us meet, God wanted to tell me that He was looking out for me.
Maybe God even caused the car to jump out, and caused my mind to scream out pleas of death that I had held back for weeks, finally convinced that I had my life under control. Maybe God set all this up to remind me. Maybe he wanted me to recall my faith in angels, in faith, in a God that could support me and make me believe.
Or maybe it was coincidental. Maybe it was sheer luck. Maybe I am misconstruing a series of very regular, exceedingly mundane events. But maybe I'm not. I don't think there is such thing as a mundane event left in this world. We are all placed very strategically in our lives in case we may be of use to others. We are pushed through experiences that will equip us with conditions advantageous for certain situations. And we will be used to help people, and we will be helped. Every single person on the street is there for some other person, in some way, shape or fashion. Even little things--it matters.
Regardless of the background circumstances, i can safely say that woman helped me much more than I ever helped her.
Life is good.
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